Grumpy like no tomorrow.

Being broke, grumpy, and an emotinal eater/coffee drinker? Fucking SUCKS.

Worse? Is that TOMORROW is payday.

I need payday to be NOW.

I'm seriously considering returning a pair of jeans I got at Old Navy that I was going to exchange to get my $12 and go and get the biggest most fabulous coffee of all time and some ridiculously fattening lunch at a food court somewhere to make me happy.

Except for that not happy portion where I have to go to a mall with no money. And even tomorrow less than no money. Not to mention the not happy of the GUILT of being a fucking emotional eater. Oh for therapy's sake!

I'm just going to put a donation box on my car, my neck, the stroller, see if people want to donate to the "Michelle needs fucking coffee and her budget is so fucked up she won't be able to afford it until 2089 even with her husband working overtime like nobody's business and fuck everything fuckity take pity on the crazy lady." Think I'd get replies?

It's either that or I sob in front of starbucks until someone sends me back to the loony bin. lmao.

I'm just grumpy. Went to bed around 11 last night. Knowing Josh had to get up at 430 to take our friend to the airport. I woke up at 1230. I woke up at 230. Liam joined me in bed and kicked Josh out around then. Liam woke at 4a and wanted to talk. And snuggle. But talk. Honey I LOVE listening to you talk however at 4am? Your talking? Will wake me for the day.

So we pretended to sleep while he snuggled and resnuggled.

OMFG I WANT A DONUT!

So we got up at 445 because fuck it all I could put up the baby gate, turn on the tv, and lay on the couch at least. I turned on dvr'd episodes of food network challenge. Liam played around a bit, laid with me a bit, then had the most disgusting watery mucuousy putrid rancid hellish include other words that mean just fucking gross diaper ever. And he wasn't happy to change it. Well I wasn't happen to do it either. But we did it.

Then he came and curled up all weird on me with me half on my side, him tucked between my legs on his tummy with his tummy rammed into my kneezone. Then he passed the fuck out around 6ish.

I dozed off and on until 8. I use the phrase loosly because you know my brat daughter woke up 15 minutes after I fell asleep and wanted to PLAY! And KICK! And BE AWAKEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

So the weird sleep has left me all kinds of foul and cranky and growly.

At least josh has our friend's car so he can do his thing with work and I can do whatever the fuck I want for the next few days without concern in my car. At least i have damn near a full tank of gas. Maybe I'll drive to, um, shit, where can I drive and get back on a tank of gas? Not many places. *sigh* Well fuck it. Besides I'll have my kidfolk.

So maybe I'll drive to old navy. Hurl my jeans at them, demand cashola for them, and then walk to the closest coffee joint of any variety and drown my sorrows in something decaf and soy and really great for my fat ass.

Yeah. Lets not even get started on my mom's new ridiculously restrictive diet through a gym she joined that she's lost 8 pounds on and now thinks I need to lose weight. Because BELIEVE me I really need my MOM making 'helpful suggestions!' again.

Gee, last time we went through my mother obsessed with my weight I stopped eating and then started barfing when I did eat! And I've had enough struggles with the no barf situation lately as is I SO don't need her help to make me feel guilty for my fabulous emotional eating.

Aren't y'all glad I have a therapist? Damn I am one fucked up lady. Oh well. The quirks make us interesting, right?

Like the part where I shrieked at my change stealing husband who has stolen almost all of the good change out of our change jar to get soda for work (seriously, fucker, lets buy you, for the price of 2 20 oz sodas? 12 cans of 12oz of generic a week. It would save us money even if you 'only' get 2 or 3 sodas a week because *gasp* 12 cans would last at LEAST a week even if you drank 2 a day!!!) My husband left me the change. Unfortunately? Unless I go to fucking coin star an dpray that the pennies I have are much. much. much. MUCH more plentiful than they look? I only came out with, like, 1.80 or something depressing.

Woops. Should've given it to poor pookums.

As usual my bribery for you listening to my bitching? Cute ass kidfolk.

I mean, SERIOUSLY? Who told my son he could walk down the stairs solo? He is starting to REFUSE to hold hands.



And Lily? Um...it's a tough go and slow as molasass but she? Is so capable of stairs now too! My little tiny baby girla!



SIDENOTE: That outfit? Lil got the pink one (same size) for Christmas from my mom. I loved it so much I bought it in purple s well. Look at how LITTLE she was the first time she wore it in the very first week of January. Um, people? That was almost 8 months ago. Clearly it was a little bit then, and getting towards small now but GAH! She was such a tiny girla (and clearly still IS tiny) yet she's such a grown girla.



I can't believe I've got that much use out of that outfit. I'm sure she has a few more wears left in it too as it totally 'fits' but one growth spurt and she'll be out of it.

And back to the topic at hand...not only are my kids doing independent stuff seperate? THey're doing crazy shit together. Like interacting with one another every. single. day. Multiple times a day. Giggling and ramming into one another and being generally irresistable and so sibling like. I sure didn't expect that any time soon. And better still? Liam initiates it nearly as much as Lily does.

Then when they tire out? Then just flop their little asses down where they are, all tangled up in limbs, and relax on the couch to recharge before going at it again.



I have a 4 minute video to share eventually of their brand of goofy.

It's because of them that my grumps? Will be directly strictly in a road rage manner full of profanity and hateful glares at anyone who looks twice at my son if he's acting more autistic than usual. Instead of at them.

To them I just threaten to toss in the river if they don't be nice. But that's an every day occurance. ;)

Yeah. I'm quality.

~M