You know you want cake pics...and kid pics. And crazy people stories.

Despite the fact that it's the weekend and therefore none of my, what, 11 readers will be around, I MUST post these pics as otherwise they will be lost in the shuffle of Liam's birthday party tomorrow morning.

Worth noting? My ass woke up at 3am when Miss Getting 4 teeth started squirming and worming and fussing and mussing around and then I was WIIIIIDE awake until 6ish when my husband demanded I go to the bedroom and he would lay in the living room with the now awake kidfolk (who did go sleep with daddy until 6.) Then I got up at 8. I'm fucking tired and may make even less sense than usual. especially considering I got an ergonomic keyboard from the thrift store yesterday and it is taking some effot to get used to it though I think I love it. And for $2 I can handle the weirdness until I get totally used to this weird thing.

Anyhow. Thursday the husband turned 31. And in the AM we snapped this pic.



I don't believe in keeping my eyes open for pics anymore. Also? I'd been up for about 10 minutes at that point. Which is no excuse but reality.

I then got to work on this masterpiece. I use the phrase masterpiece loosely.



I'll have you know that this is the first cake in 7 years I didn't royally fuck up. I mention this every year. Last year's wasn't bad except the frosting was too soft and sliiiiiiiiiid down the cake as I took a pic of him and the kids with it. So then it got respread in a mess.

Here's my goof ass husband pouting about being old and bald and stealing my hair.



You'll note the green smear on my forehead? Frosting (which was just colored cool whip). How it ended up there is beyond me. But Josh decided to be psychotic and photograph himself ambushing me to horrify me and relieve me of the issue.



He also got flowers for his birthday. Because they were cheap and hey! Boys deserve flowers too! Look! One of them was even a double stem! AWWWWW!



My mother thought they were fake because they were so shiny. No no. Real cheap ass out of the grocer's case 5 stems of tulips with a $2 off coupon kinda flower. I love that kind. :)

I then set to work on the important task of slicing the cake up. My husband wanted an entire quarter. I told him to start with an eighth.



Lily wanted to know if she could have some.



Sorry goo. This is grown up only. THIS much sugar? Would probably send you spiralling to the moon!

Turtle brownie. Baby ruth ice cream. Carmel sauce. Cool whip. Sprinkles. Yeah. That's a lot of sugar. But no calories. it's birthday cake. That's immediately exempt.



I then licked my fingers clean because I'm high class. And Josh opted to make a smart ass comment. Look buddy. I still have the knife.



Then we go through the obligatory pics of Josh eating the cake pics.





WHY does the second pic always look like a cross between barfing and orgasming? Thank cod he doesn't REALLY look like that when he does the 2nd activity. Gross.

And in no transition whatsoever news...the kids and I ran errands all. fucking. day. yesterday. Liam was off school and still we were gone from 9-6. Cod I'm insane. First...the grocery store. Where the kids started out together in the car cart but then got separated as Lily offended her brother by her very existence. I mean crimany WHY should he have to share steering wheels??!!



Lil got over it when the bank lady showed us the platter of good morning cookies (and for another day? I'll share the story of the psycho, but sweet and well meaning, woman who was stocking shelves and was just OH YOU POOR THING about my bald ass toddler girl. AND called her a boy. In this getup.)



That coat, btw, was sent by a lovely blogger last year who never visits anymore (though I'm guilty of the same thing. i suck donkey balls.) and while it's adorable. It's WAY too small now and was why we had to go out and about. To scour thrift stores and consignment stores for a damn coat!

First though? Liam had to fall asleep in the car cart. Double steering is tiring.



I also attracted crazy people at the thrift store who I was too polite to make hush up. Of course I probably looked like ghetto trash as my son HOWLED about a choo choo he couldn't have (dude. it was a 1970's coat hanging thing painted with toxic paint no doubt, weighing about 20 pounds. And if he couldn't carry it on his lap I wasn't going to hold it in front of him while steering the monster!) then took off his socks and shoes, pulled Lily's canopy over her entirely, and stuck his feet in her face so she would grab them and shake them back and forth both of them laughing hysterically.



So at the final consignment store? My son was sick and tired of the damn stroller. Which this place is SO not designed for. So I let him out. And he pretended to be autistic and lined up about 30 99 cent duckies in a row. Or two. And then there was a 3rd row. Oh, wait, he IS autistic! He also refused shoes and socks in there and screamed like a banchee when I made him try on winter boots until I showed him what he called "MICKEY SHOE!" boots with Mickey on the side. Score. he still howled a bit but less. *sigh* I think winter's gonna be FUN!!!



Oh. His overalls were also undone because he popped half the buttons and I decided to say screw it and let the others go because he was annoyed. We were all out autism day yesterday! :)

The best and worst parts of the day? I found GORGEOUS coats at a consignment store. For $25. Dude. I could buy them new that price. Bummer. Then I found one at the duck having store for $12 plus 20% off. Except once i put it on Lily? I discovered the zipper gets stuck on the fabric and with a squirming 1 1/2 year old? That doesn't work.

The silver lining? At store # 422 I found this dino halloween costume that is super warm and furry and adorable and just Lily's size and just a coat. For $6.99. And, um, she loves it. And thinks she's hilarious in it. And I'm SERIOUSLY considering having it be her winter coat.



I might be off my rocker but my daughter and her outrageous personality gets away with a lot outrageous ensembles thanks to her mama's insanity and it's really cracking me up. Even my husband, after initially saying WTF, had to admit after putting it on Lily that this is so a look that only Lily could pull off.

RAWR!



~M